Rain says it’s just taking a break....for now

Rain says it is just taking a break from its usual routine but will be back shortly.

“We’re just putting our feet up for a while” said a nimbus cloud hovering 50 miles to the west of Ireland.

“We are just biding our time but mark my word, we will return….maybe on the morning of the first Test Match against Zimbabwe, maybe the first day of Wimbledon or maybe the first Bank Holiday of the year.

One thing you can be sure of….we will definitely be along to fuck up that BBQ you’ve been planning for the last few months…..and don’t even get me started on Darren’s wedding day.

We let you have the driest March for over 60 years….I hope you made the most of it.

Because that’s it…..no more Mr Nice Guy….it will be business as usual very soon”.

Image: Pixabay/xusenru

Man inexplicably annoyed that Apple didn’t stop after making his phone

An Apple customer today expressed his annoyance that his iPhone is no longer the latest model, only six months after he bought it.

“Obviously I’m happy with all their innovations up to and including the model I bought. It’s fantastic how it replaces my watch, diary, calendar, camera, music player, map, computer and a million other things. There’s even a kind of voice-driven AI you can have whole conversations with, for those days when talking to another human just feels a bit much.

“But now it turns out they carried on with the R&D after making my phone, and there’s an even better one coming out. I mean, WTAF? I’m inexplicably annoyed about this for no reason whatsoever.”

The man then announced that in future he was going to buy a so-called “dumbphone” with none of these features, since he could be sure future models would be exactly the same without any improvement at all.

“It’s also the reason I use a Windows PC.”

Image: Pixabay/ AI_solution

The perils of buying an American car

The US auto business is in big trouble because of the Trump Tariff Tempest.  Even the good ole boys at Ford and GM are hit hard because all car manufacturers rely on a global supply chain.

US auto-makers costs have just rocketed, and they are desperate to keep costs down.   So they will rush to replace foreign parts with locally sourced parts.  Or they will use domestic parts designed for one model instead of the correct part from overseas.

What does this mean?  It means that all of that careful design and engineering work goes out the window.  And American cars will be a horrible kludge of mashed up kit that is the best that they could get from their US suppliers, KMart and Walmart.   You can throw away your Haynes manuals right now!

 On the plus side, your car will be delivered already customised, and each one will be entirely unique.  And anything you do to it is unlikely to make anything worse.

Your best chance of buying a car that is built as its designers intended is probably to buy Chinese. Or a restored Morris Minor. 

C5, anyone?

Image: Pixabay/jenu