The Archers to feature home dentistry storyline

The continuing drama 'The Archers' was first broadcast on BBC radio in 1850.  The programme disseminated government information about good farming practice at a time of rationing and food shortages.

In 2025, The show is returning to its roots, and will feature storylines addressing current political issues.  Upcoming episodes will highlight Eddie Grundy's problems in finding an NHS dentist, and the cost of dental treatment.

After trying homeopathic, herbal and alcoholic remedies, Eddie eventually tries to extract two molars and a canine tooth himself, with hilarious consequences.

Future storylines will feature the effect of American tariffs, a child grooming scandal and the purchase of Bridge Farm by Jeremy Clarkson.

Image: Pixabay/sammy-sander

Smash burgers to become invisible to the naked eye, confirm restaurants

The recent trend for ever-thinner cuts of burgers - known as smash burgers -  will continue until the point that the meat will no longer be visible to the human eye, pretentious restaurants and upmarket burger takeaways have confirmed. 

Smash burgers have become more and more popular over recent times with advocates claiming flatter, wider and crisper patties are way tastier than their traditional chunky counterparts, with rapid searing bringing out a burst of flavour. 

'Our famous smash burger is currently the thickness of a piece of paper', boasted Michael da Costa of the trendy Hoxton-based burger-joint Beef It Up. 'The cheese slice that goes with it is thicker than the burger. Its taste will blow your mind - as will the £38.50 we charge for it.'

'But that's still way to thick - burger lovers are missing out on so much flavour that comes with flattening out the burger as much as possible.' continued Da Costa.  We're launching a new burger next week which is actually thinner than a piece of hair. The burger is thin - but you can be reassured that by the fat bill of £65 you'll get for it at the end of the meal, I'm sure'.  

'Excitingly we're now working on a graphene burger, which is 10000 times thinner than a piece of gold leaf. Our expert chefs bond some of the electrons in carbon atoms with some gristly smashed up offcuts of beef. As well as the £1089 price tag, it comes in a brioche bun with a side of fries, oh, and a microscope so you can actually try and see the beef'.  

Image: Pixabay/This_is_engineering

7 more adolescent shows that should be showed in every school

After the success of hard-hitting Netflix drama Adolescence, Keir Starmer announced that the programme would be made available to all secondary schools to stream for free for educational purposes. But why stop there? Here are 7 archive shows featuring adolescents that should be compulsory viewing for schoolkids and adults alike:

Why Don't You - a 1980s school summer holiday stalwart, this programme still contains many nuggets of useful information for contemporary schoolkids on how to navigate teenage life, including where to find the best free museum day outs in Bristol, how to make a walkie-talkie with a piece of string and two bog rolls, and (from the Belfast and Newcastle teams only) the best fil-terms to watch at the local cinema. Parental warnings: Includes gratuitous violence of TV sets being destroyed by a kicking foot in every episode, as well as some criminal bowl haircuts. 

Grange Hill - ever wondered what school life is really like in an inner-city comprehensive? Grange Hill  has all the answers, along with a catchy jangly them-tune and some trendy comic-book style opening credits.  From Zammo McGuire 'chasing the dragon', Gripper Stebson and Imelda Davis' peak-level bullying, and Mr Bronson's nazi-style teaching and moustache, kids today could learn a lot from this Phil Redmond classic. Watch out for flying sausages on a fork, and remember to Just Say No. 

Tuckers Luck - basically Grange Hill on steroids, with teenage pregnancies, mass unemployment, and the harsh reality of the YTS scheme and life after school. Grim, existential viewing, apart from an accidental one-liner gag about white dog turds in series 3, episode 2. 

Red Hand Gang - a pre-cursor to Adolescence's single-camera, the Red Hand Gang seemingly had just one single episode, showed repeatedly, every Saturday morning. 5 wholesome American schoolkids and their dog solve crimes. Main learning outcomes: red paint hand-prints are not easy to remove from fence panels; home made go-Karts fall apart way too easily under pressure; and the La La La, La La La theme tune will stay in your head for decades. 

The Box of Delights - much loved high-production values children's series from the 1980s. Often remembered as a classic, but when pushed, few kids can remember anything about it apart from the one minute advert featuring Patrick Troughton  that was showed incessantly, and the fact that there was a box involved which shrank people. Adults should be forced to watch the whole thing - yes all 6 bloody episodes - and forced to admit that it wasn't actually that good at all.

Press Gang - ridiculously over-confident, attractive teenagers are somehow given the freedom of a high-spec newspaper office and full printing press to engage in banter, school politics and frankly outrageous flirting. Kids today could learn a thing or two from Spike Thomson's quickfire repartee, whilst Lynda Day's style of leadership should be a compulsory part of the syllabus on any contemporary MBA.  

We are the Champions - learn about the harsh realities of competitive sport and teamwork, but with the added embarrassment of having to fail alongside your schoolmates. The only bits people remember are the pool games where the main life lesson learnt is that its impossible to cram 10 wet, sweating teenagers from a Bolton secondary school on a 6ft by 3 ft float. Ron Pickering adds touches of gravitas, credibility, as well as very sweaty armpits to an already heady mix of testosterone, swanny whistles, and bean bags. One last thing to say....AWAY YOU GO. 

Image: Pixabay/yousafbhutta