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NewsBiscuit: Best of January 2025


January 2025


Yes, that’s right. It was only a year ago that Donald Trump was indicted as US President. Sorry, inducted. I’m getting ahead of myself. One of the new president’s first acts was to rename the Gulf of Mexico. It’s good to be clear about your priorities. And he blamed LA for setting itself on fire. And he was already trying to grab Greenland. Back then, Donald was still friends with billionaire donor Elon Musk. How times have changed. Elon had money to burn, and proved it by blowing up another of his rockets. Is it SpaceX or Ex-Space?


In UK politics, Keir tells Elon Musk that he’s ‘crossed a line’ by spreading lies and misinformation about grooming gangs on X. One year later, and we’re still waiting for Keir to do something about Elon and X. In Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon announced the end of her marriage to police favourite, Peter Murrell.


The state of the economy continued to be an issue in the UK. The PM’s solution was to big up the opportunities presented by AI, which we now know are mainly about making nude pictures of people. In the courts, a woman successfully contested fines of £2,000 for five minutes parking. She had been unable to pay because there was no mobile phone signal. In 2026, you have to pay that sort of money to drop someone off at the airport, and that’s apparently still legal.


In sport, Luke Littler was tilting for his first major title. Too many beers?


Here is a selection of the top NewsBiscuit stories from January 2025. Click through to read the stories and see the author credits. Scroll down to see some of the month’s best headlines.


USA News


UK news


Social issues


Other news



Headlines


US news

Trump and Musk prove two wrong 'uns do make an extreme right

JFK Assassination files recovered from Trump’s bathroom

Space between Trump’s ears renamed Gulf of America

LA residents regret using Tinder


The world of work

Australian tailor is making great strides

Bogus chiropractor was just pulling my leg

Criminal who represented himself doesn't do himself justice

Gardener put on gardening leave feels a bit hard done by


UK politics

Labour hope Artificial Intelligence can replace Actual Incompetence

Liz Truss adamant that the economy crashed into her

Nicola Sturgeon finally achieves independence


And finally...

Luke Littler - If I win, I’ll stop cutting my own hair

Supermodels call for third runway at London Fashion Week

Greenland offers to sell Denmark

Inventor of ultra-velcro said it was "hard to pull off"

Custard pies - do they strike you as funny?




Image credit: deep dream generator

Fight Blue Monday with sharp scissors


Are you ready for Blue Monday?


Blue Monday is 'the most depressing day of the year' and falls this year on January 20th. The day is associated with feelings of sadness, low motivation, and a lack of energy. But – good news! - you can take action to protect yourself from the doom and gloom.


While many commentators will blather on about exercise, mediation, and not going on a massive bender, here are more practical and down to earth steps that you can take:


1. Avoid dismal stories about Blue Monday. Journalists will be wheeling out their lazy stories about Blue Monday – probably the same one they used last year. You don’t have to put up with this. Buy a Sunday newspaper and make it last through Monday. Or buy your favourite magazine instead. (Remember magazines ? Those things you used to read in WH Smith and then put back on the shelf.) But definitely don’t buy a newspaper on Monday.


2. Replace that non-non-stick frying pan. Few things in life are as depressing as a worn out non-stick pan. Fried eggs that should slide out easily are welded to the black bit on the pan, and get completely banjaxed as you try to lever them off with a spatula. Spare yourself. Replace that pan today!


3. Replace scissors that don’t work. Hot on the heels of dodgy pans are blunt or loose scissors. You know, the ones that chew feebly at plastic bags or bend your fingernails over instead of cutting them. Depressing, but fixable. Fight Blue Monday with a new pair of sharp scissors.


4. Sort out tax returns. Yes, they are due at the end of January, so you’ve messed it up again for this year. Make a diary note to do your tax return in December this year, so you can avoid a dismal January next year.


Finally, remember that there is no science behind Blue Monday.


Charities have co-opted it to promote mental health awareness and self-care, so – in a brilliantly self-defeating way - it gets more publicity than is healthy.


And social media likes to pile on and amplify the whole disheartening fiasco. So you should stay off social media on Monday as well. Instead, make a diary note to cut your fingernails with your new scissors.


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