In the wake of the solar eclipse that passed across the United States today, Donald Trump unveiled a new slogan - “Make America Bright Again”. “This never happened when I was president,” said the Republican candidate, now busy campaigning for the November election. “Just remember, under crooked Joe Biden, you don’t even get reliable sunlight during the day.
“When I was in power, the sun shone all the time, the weather was perfect. It never rained, except when farmers needed it, in which case it rained exactly the right amount and only on their fields.” He then set out a plan to build a wall around the sun so that the moon won’t be able to cross in front of it in future, explaining that the builders wouldn’t be burned to a crisp because they’d do it at night. “And they’d be Mexicans anyway, so it wouldn’t matter.”
Hearing about his opponent’s statement, President Biden rubbed his temples and said that half of America could indeed do with being a bit brighter. He then issued a warning that Trump’s face had now become such a bright orange, it wasn’t safe to look at it directly without special glasses.
