top of page
Search

Hilarious new Theatresports game released globally: Transnistria Denial


With firefights erupting in a breakaway region between Ukraine and Moldova, the inventors of Theatresports have proposed a great new improvisational schtick called: 'What the Heck is Happening in Transnistria?' Players respond to that prompt. Ukraine celebrated the announcement and began the game with an ironic response: 'Transnistria can’t be at war with us, because it doesn’t exist. Realistically that land is just a part of Russia.'


Unexpectedly, the Transnistrian head of state then also denied the existence of Transnistria: 'Transnistria is not at war, we are the Pridnestrovian Moldavian Republic.' This upset Moldova, which fired back: 'Leave us out of it. You should really say the Administrative-Territorial Unit of the Left Bank of the Dniester under Russian Occupation. Or ATULBDRO, that’s much easier.'


In Moscow, the Almost as Great Dictator was not sure how to keep the witty repartee going: 'If I recognise a Republic of Transnistria, folk will think our plans to bugger the Black Sea region started way before 2014, like circa 1992 when we started arming those old separatists. But maybe I will… after all, our recognition of the new Donbas republics has gone so beautifully.'


Of course, the Trumpian Republic of Florida Which Totally Exists - Bigly reacted quickly to the moral turpitude of that response: 'Just don’t say Transnistria, it’s not a real thing, it’s either Boynistria or Girlnistria, God has spoken.'


Author: Dogular



First published 30 April 2022


If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?



















Weight of Royal medals may have caused structural damage to Buckingham Palace balcony

Weight of Royal medals may have caused structural damage to Buckingham Palace balcony, say engineers


The weight of military medals, ceremonial paraphernalia and assorted pearl necklaces could have caused serious structural damage to the balcony at Buckingham Palace warn engineers.


Workers tasked with restoring the Palace say they have came across cracks and crumbling infrastructure that have left the balcony in a dangerous condition.


‘The type of damage we found on site is typically associated with excessive weight and impact trauma….the balcony was not built to carry the sort of excessive burden put on it by the current Royal family’ said engineer Jason Beasley ‘the load bearing lintels were designed to carry a modest sized family wearing bonnets and waving silk fans….not rocking a battalion of service medals and military hardware usually seen at a victory day parade in Moscow


Add to that the amount of gold jewellery and pearl necklaces worn by Camilla and it is no wonder the balcony is in danger of collapse’, "The Royals should either take it in turns venturing out on to the balcony to wave at the crowds or scale back on the amount of medals they wear."


‘It all started with the Prince Albert….but thankfully Andrew isn’t allowed on the balcony anymore’.


image from pixabay


Drone insists it went to Moscow to admire the architecture



The drone that exploded over the Kremlin has gone on TV to insist it only travelled there to enjoy the ‘wonderful’ architecture of Moscow. Addressing Russian journalists, the smouldering wreckage said: ‘I am not a drone. I came to Moscow to see the historic sites. Did you know the dome was built in 1837 and is 47 meters high?’


The Russian journalists were mightily impressed. Even president Putin said it seemed to make perfect sense and no longer blames Ukraine, or himself, for the attack.




First published 7 May 2023



If you enjoyed this archive item, why not buy thousands of archive stories found in our eBooks, paperbacks and hardbacks?














bottom of page