X-59 jet reduces supersonic smell of bullsh*t

An aircraft which can fly at supersonic speeds without unleashing the foul stench of explosive bullsh*t has been unveiled by NASA's Skunk Works unit.

'This is the holy grail of military travel,' said Bobby Eggplant, NASA's head of smell suppression. 'What America requires is a fast jet which doesn't come with the overwhelming fib of a "precision strike" ahead of it. Sometimes, there is a boom in civilian casualties before the words "limited collateral damage" escape a President's lips.'

'Personally, I would have gone the other way on this project,' interjected the UK's top aircraft development engineer, Basil Brush.

image from pixabay

NASA confirm that space rock has the word 'space' running all the way through it

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NASA retrieves asteroid sample, but gets sued for theft

An alien is beginning legal action against NASA, after a probe to the asteroid Bennu collected a sample and then returned it to Earth.

Zuflaxizog said 'Stole a sample I think you'll find. I had just finished renovating my summer house and that probe has made a complete mess of my garden. Mrs Zuflaxizog is not pleased. You have a cheek calling Bennu the most dangerous rock in the Solar System, when Suella Braverman lives on your one. Going to a new world and stealing stuff - it's all a bit British Museum, isn't it?'

Zuflaxizog added 'I felt a great disturbance, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. So either a planet has been destroyed or the Met Police have been violently kettling a peaceful demonstration, Suella-style.'

Asteroid Comet - Free photo on Pixabay - Pixabay

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