Reform plans to scrap films with subtitles

Reform UK has announced it would abolish foreign films with subtitles, especially Welsh, if the party wins the next election.

Under the plans, films would only be shown if they can easily understood by the majority English speaking community. Foreign films would need to apply for a license; would only be shown in specialist cinemas; and would have new censor rating of 'F'. Reform has also said it plans to bar any British citizens from accessing the subtitled films with a view to phasing out Welsh and other indigenous languages, as early as possible. The party claims their plans would increase Britishness and adherence to British values by over 200%.

Chancellor Rachel Reeves said the suggested measures 'might be a good or a bad idea' and the government were already looking at restricting access for Foreign films, or allowing everyone access to everything.

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British Youngsters Should Learn How to Prepare For Hanging

Opposition leader, Kemi Badenoch is facing mounting criticism after stating in a recent article in The Spectator magazine that all British schoolchildren should be taught how to deal with the prospect of being hanged for murder.

Badenoch makes the claim that the Conservative Party will reintroduce capital punishment if re-elected; therefore, youngsters should be taught how best to deal with the difficulties they could face during the days between sentencing and the gallows.

'Being hanged, although a wonderfully effective deterrent against unlawful killing, can be a challenging business at the end of the day, so the sooner young people learn how to deal with the prospect, the better, in my view.

'My proposal would see children being taught how best to while away the hours in the condemned cell. Perhaps by learning solitary card games or being taught how to play mournful tunes on the harmonica.

'A guide to making a healthy choice for that last meal could also be included.

'The trouble with the current education in our schools is that far too little attention is paid to life's everyday challenges, like household budgeting, buying a mortgage, and even painting and decorating one of the new homes that my government would give to all newlyweds absolutely free.'

'Facing execution by hanging with good old British fortitude and decorum would therefore be top of my list on any British school curriculum.

'There'll be no shaking like a jelly, screaming for mother or trouser-soiling if I have anything to do with it'

Badenoch's shock proposal comes just a week after Reform Party leader, Nigel Farage, insisted that, under a Reform administration, all foreign nationals entering the country illegally will be strung up from lampposts along the Dover to London road 'like those slaves in Spartacus'.

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