With unfortunately not enough numbers for a choir, the music loving MPs of Reform UK have decided to form a boy band. Ticey, Jimmy Mc, Lowey, Big Nige and Animal have been in the recording studio laying down some tracks to be released they hope in time for the summer beach party season.
Nige, who says he’s has been a big part of the Clacton club scene for weeks, has stepped up to be lead singer and Animal, a veteran of the Nottingham Formation dance team in the 80’s will handle choreography and public relations. Ticey who is funding the project is confident that there is a huge untapped market, bored, fed up with main stream bands and with Universal credit, job seeker our fans have, a big disposable income.
Each of the band have had input into the tracks selected, Ticey chose and sings the backing track for Money,money,money, Big Nige a pounding dub version of, If I was a rich man and Lowey belts out the Daily Mail’s tip for single of the year, Horst Wessel Lied.
With the album tracks not yet finalised and no name yet chosen for the group, the five cheeky lads have asked for fans to come up with a possible name and also to suggest songs they would like included. The band is keen to point out however, that any chosen suggestions may get a credit on the album but absolutely no financial reward.
A spokesperson for anti-immigration, pro-sovereignty politician Nigel Farage has said that his recent whirlwind visit to support Serbian tennis star Novak Djokovic in his battle with Australian immigration was not hypocritical, but consistent with Farage's fundamental belief in the right of very rich people to do whatever they liked, regardless of the law or public health.
When an entitled arsehole is in trouble, Mr Farage will fly to the rescue" said a spokesperson. "First class of course".
Mr Farage has released a video of him meeting Mr Djokovic and his brother. Novak smiles, while his brother is thought to be heard saying in Serbian "So this guy's an immigration lawyer is he? He's got government connections? How da f@ck is he going to help us then?"
Following a sarcastic comment from Andy Murray about the politician being better known for "trying to get Eastern Europeans deported", Farage is thought to have been heard saying he will support Novak if he plays "that Scottish tennis player". Farage was expected to enter the Australian Open himself - the veteran's competition of course - but had to withdraw after recently straining his back jumping on a bandwagon.
First published 11 Jan 2022
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