A pub in Essex has been raided by police after customers complained there were no right-wing offensive memorabilia on display.
'No swastikas, no golliwogs, no framed portraits of Nigel Farage in sight,' said a Detective Constable today.
'Obviously we tried to give them advice on the right way to display any golliwogs they might find - preferably with a correctly tied noose around their necks, but they weren't up for listening. We pointed out we had better things to do with our time, what with raping and abusing law abiding citizens, but zero interest. We tried to give them leaflets on how to be racist, some Britain First tee shirts we had going spare, but they wouldn't take any notice.
'Of course, we've arrested them, charged them with wasting police time. We also noticed they had RNLI collection containers on the bar so we've charged them with offences related to funding terrorist organisations as well,' he added.
photo: https://pixabay.com/users/kbha-9658148/
Coastal water won't give it a rest until it has definitely spotted illegal Nigel Farages invading the British shoreline.
'I'm here every day protecting the English Channel and the rest of the world from illegal Nigel Farages,' said the coastal water. 'You saw my poster. There are millions of Nigel Farages who will swarm into Turkey, Romania and Bulgaria if something isn't done about them.
'Look. Look! There's one now! Quick! Get 'im! Before he makes a break for it... oh no, that's just a lifeguard. They're OK. Well, most of 'em.
'I was just up the Kent coast last week, and I saw one of those illegal Suella Bravermans. They can be even worse, you know. They've all got this dream, see, that one day the Telegraph will print a front page of them illegally trafficking people on a flight to Rwanda.
'And once, right, my mates spotted an illegal Priti Patel. But they pushed her back onto the shoreline and beached her.'
Image: 1643606 | Pixabay
H/T: apepper