Dorset Police are telling tourists to avoid the formerly sedate coastal resort of Lyme Regis, warning it has become a blackspot for crime and disorder.
"Lyme Regis? Cryme Regis, more like," said a spokes-ASBO for Dorset Police. "Nowadays it's plagued by flying squads of hoodlums who operate in broad daylight on the seafront, knocking the chips out of people's hands and jabbing them repeatedly until an ambulance arrive.
"And that's just the seagulls.
"Plus they make a racket morning, noon and night, steal the catches from trawlers and hang around on seawalls, looking at our officers funny.
"We're so ashamed of the how rotten life has got in this royally-named town that we're ordering the local council to change the signposts to say Lyme Egregious, as a red flag to visitors to steer clear of the godforsaken dump."
image from pixabay
