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Outrage at formation of new Rant Party


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An endless stream of invective has greeted news of the formation of this new British political party. The criticism has been universal, coming from long-established groups like the Disgusted Party, based in Tunbridge Wells as well as new ones like the Tirade Party.


And it's not just political parties which have objected. Other groups like the Just-Stop-Stopping-Things and the Oh-No-Not-You-Too campaign have organised protests. Among the most threatening are the We're-Not-Quite-Sure-What-This-Is-About-But-We-All-Enjoy-A-Good-Riot-So-Lets-Just-Smash-Things-And-Set-Fire-To-Them. This has led to even more violent action by the Keep-It-Short-Attack-Everyone Anarchist Commando.


Even more middle-of-the-road parties like Moderate UK, the We're-Not-Sure party and an uncertain number of broadly similar groups have issued a joint statement, more-or-less saying something like 'Have you really thought this through? Are you absolutely sure this is a good idea?'. Similar statements from the Procrastination Party are expected in due course but nothing has been heard from the Silent Majority and it is not expected that any statement will be forthcoming from the No Comment Collective.




Blood donation questions to include political leanings

Updated: Dec 6, 2021


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NHS Blood and Transplant has announced a change to their questionnaire for donors with updates that will improve safety for recipients of transfusions.


Potential donors will, from today, be asked if they are an active member of a political party. If so, the near-armful will be subject to further tests prior to release.


"It's important that we keep the donation process safe for all parties," Said Olivia Leach of NHSBT. "Children in particular are at risk of side-effects from certain components of adult blood. One adverse reaction last year where a paediatric patient suddenly developed an acute interest in Hedge Funds and pinstripe suits was traced back to a unit of blood that came from a Conservative Donor. Therefore, we're adding these checks to ensure nothing like that can happen again."


Other side-effects recorded in the last twelve months included an increased level of bickering with family members over trivial issues traced back to a Labour Party member and a belief everything was a mandate for Scottish Independence after receipt of SNP blood. No reactions were recorded from anyone receiving Liberal Democrat supporter blood, mainly because no-one would admit to being a member of the party.





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