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Newly elected Tory MP 'too busy to attend surgeries' says party chair

A newly elected Tory MP has thanked those who voted for him but says he is unable to visit his constituency, arrange local surgeries or attend the House of Commons because he is too busy dealing with more important issues and a backlog of outside interests.

The MP for Old Hoaxley and Sickup said he would get around to doing something about it one day but for now he was far too busy concentrating on a complex business arrangement he has with an old business chum based in the Cayman Islands and securing another place on the board of an FT listed company.

‘The phone hasn’t stopped ringing since I won the seat’ said the incoming new man ‘it would be great to meet some of the voters who elected me at some point in the future and listen to their moans and groans but at the moment it’s just not convenient.’

Party chair Olivia Cowden said the new MP would prove to be a dedicated and hard working servant for his constituency but at the moment was a bit busy sorting out a few other things.

‘Sickcup….that’s in the south-east of London right’ said the MP ‘just clarifying that before we go any further.’

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