Updated: Dec 14, 2021
Having gone on TV to explain that he would ditch any promise he made, in order to get elected, voters might be forgiven for thinking that Sir Keir has only a passing relationship with the truth.
Delegates at the recent Labour conference were offput by the sight of Sir Keir making further pledges, with his fingers crossed. Said one delegate: ‘I don’t know who to trust? He says his name is Keir, but everyone else calls him Keith’.
Promising McDonalds’ workers £15 an hour, than instructing Andy McDonald to forbid it, was confusing - partly because of the broken commitment but mainly because everyone in the story was called McDonald.
A psychologist explained: ‘The odd thing is that no one asks him to make these pledges in the first place, he just seems to like breaking them – it’s sort of kinky. It’s like cheating on your spouse at the dinner table. He seems to get a thrill from being caught’.
An aide defended the beleaguered leader: ‘Keir is as honest as the day is long. Which is why Labour is proposing to help workers, with a new one-hour week’.