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A much slimmer version of the authoritative 'Armoured Fighting Vehicles' publication from Jane's will be produced. Soon. Within budget. And without requiring extensive re-training of readers on how to use the new book.


This edition focuses on severely delayed vehicle programmes, especially those whose service names begin with A. Coincidentally, apart from the nomenclature, one thing they all have in common is that they are being procured, or not as the case may be, by the British Ministry of Defence. The Ajax program supports several variants of the basic design: the Ajax itself, the Athena, the Ares, the Argus, the Atlas and the Apollo. The supplier won a contract 13 years ago, and so far the quantities of vehicles of each type in service is best given in round numbers i.e. zeroes. Forecasts by military experts of likely in-service dates now range from "late 2028 or 2029" through to "In The Year 2525."


Several suggestions have been forthcoming about renaming the variants as the Anthrax, the Apnoea, the Arse, the Anus, the At Last, and the Appalling.


It is also rumoured that a suitable company, experienced in operating severely delayed programmes, is being sought. Appropriately, Avanti is the lead contender.





First published 22 Mar 2023


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A contestant has completed a reality TV show challenge in good time with no last minute panic. Stunned viewers watched open-mouthed as Caroline Frodsham, a project manager from Stoke, completed the redecoration of a cake shop with an hour to spare and under budget.


'I simply worked back from the deadline and planned out the tasks to fit the budget,' said Ms Frodsham. 'The client initially wanted a very ambitious design, but we had a sensible and open discussion on what was realistic - your know, like adults - and they were happy with the end result.'


'She was polite, competent and efficient,' said series producer Josh Wyndham, 'the bastard. Who wants to watch that? No tears, no breakdowns, no bitching about her fellow contestants... She embarrassed us all in front of the nation. Mark my words, she'll never work in reality TV again.' Despite this threat, Ms Frodsham appeared unconcerned, apparently quite happy to continue working in actual reality instead.



Image credit: perchance.org


Before Musk, Trump and Putin, B L O'Feld led the field in World Domination.


Barry Liam O'Feld, CEO of B L O'Feld Megalomaniac Industries (BLOMI), wants a super evil secret lair building in a remote South Seas location to destroy the planet or possibly worse, so he needs a project manager; which is fortunate as Brian wants a job. Unfortunately Brian is a catering manager, so naturally he lies. Luckily for Brian, lying is a core value for O'Feld Industries.


In Project: Evil follow the progress of Brian’s project meeting by meeting, observing the interaction of the various stakeholders from the project sponsor to the humble henchpersons employed as cannon fodder as Brian struggles to keep the project on track. Not only does he have to cope with the warped logic of a company that doesn’t value its own life let alone that of its enemies, he has to deal with the unwelcome advances of the octogenarian Secret Service agent James Bund while also somehow project managing the Christmas office party as O’Feld rushes to beat his peer megalomaniacs such as Doktor Negatif and Gold Digit to be the first to destroy the planet.


If project management has ever seemed a mystery, a black art or even (improbably) a dull activity then Project: Evil may be the only book that will make you realise just how funny the subject can be. It may even help you understand why the bad guys feel inclined to run around in sh!t coloured pyjamas when the going gets tough. Recommended reading for all project managers and sufferers of their art form everywhere.


Ray Sullivan is a writer and editor for Newsbiscuit. He has ten novels published ranging in genres from comedy, science fiction and thrillers.



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