Unbeknownst to you, you have been secretly recorded for the past few decades and have been heralded as a perfect example of what not to do. Future generations will be able to learn from your mistakes and historians will marvel at your incompetence.
The monitoring first began as a prank, in the hope of catching some slapstick moments, but soon evolved into an existential experience in ennui, that would make Sisyphus look productive. The warning signs were always there, from what you choose to wear to that time you voted for austerity, everything about you is calamitous - including your use of the word woke and how you pronounce scone.
At least now, future selves will be less reliant on software updates, podcast banter and artisanal coffee to improve your life. Perhaps civilization can take a turn for the better by not getting a holiday henna tattoo or wearing crocs with socks. Your sacrifice of dignity and purpose, will save others, or at the very least make a great bloopers reel.
Photo by Carl Tronders on Unsplash
