A confused scene this morning, at the Conservative Conference, as a group of 25 or so journalists woke up to find the venue had been largely abandoned and they were the only ones left.
"It was weird", said Peter Bryant, a staffer for the Telegraph, "I was catching 40 winks during a Mel Stride thing and then I wake up to find everyone gone. It was like 28 days later. Only with old racists instead of zombies"
A decision was made on the Tuesday morning, due to the fact that no-one was really listening and most people were either hungover or asleep, that the conference might as well shut up shop and knock off early. Robert Jenrick summed it up, "Blah blah blah not enough white faces blah blah blah scrap the ECHR blah blah blah immigration is coming for your swans and conservatories. OK? Everyone get that? Great, see you next year, hopefully somewhere down south." He walked off stage to one person applauding which woke the press corp.
The confused journalists reverted to their survival instincts and made their way to the bar to find Kemi Badenoch talking sternly to a waiter who had asked her why she was in town.
