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Royal coaches waiting up to 40 hours to discharge their royals



The Royal family have accused members of the Royal family of 'palace blocking', leading to gold plated royal coaches being parked up outside palaces for up to 40 hours.


'One cannot occupy a 60 room palace when one's brother and ex-wife, or one's ginger-haired grandson are still in residence,' said an anonymous insider today.


Palace blocking is thought to be linked to Royal List payments. 'It's all very well the country standing on their doorsteps clapping as one is driven past, waving,' said the anonymous source, 'but that doesn't pay one's bills. It's no wonder one is reduced to serving quiche at one's coronation banquet,' he added.



£8m for King's portrait. Prince Andrew's mugshot? Priceless.




Forced to fund pictures of King Charles, the tax payer may be wondering if there were better bargains to be had. Paintings of Princess Margaret's Tindr profile, Fergie's toe job or Prince Harry dressed as a Nazi, from his pre-woke years.


Instead of having Charles' gurning mug adorning every cub scout hall, they could have had Prince Andrew, with the phone number for Childline. Even just a racist slogan to immortalise Prince Phillip's contribution to harmless banter.


Meanwhile portraits of the late Queen will be ceremonially burned, along with the evidence of her tax avoidance. Said one serf: '£8m to reminder the masses that he is superior? I guess its cheaper than paying for a blue tick on Twitter.'


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