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The government has been thrown into confusion after PM Rishi Sunak appeared to announce that Suella Braverman is to be the new Home Secretary.
When asked how she could be the new Home Secretary when she was already the Home Secretary there was an awkward pause before Sunak had a flunky issue a statement:
'Remember that time - less than a year ago - when Suella Braverman leaked classified documents and had to resign, but was then reinstated 6 days later, just to assuage the swivel-eyed loons? Well, in that spirit, Rishi is delighted to re-re-re-re-re-instate Ms Braverman and I'm sure she'll do an excellent job, this time.' The flunky was seen to cross his fingers at this point. 'She will be just as excellent as she was last time.'
- simonjjames
- Nov 9, 2023
Suella Braverman spoke to some handpicked right wing press, confirming she was giving the order today to the UK's homeless to go and find a house or flat or face transportation to Rwanda or imprisonment.
When it was put to her the reasons for people living the streets or rough sleeping, she called the journalists woke, pronoun loving Remainers and stated that she would consider those taking mortgage payment holidays as homeless too. Also people who camped more than three weeks a year, people who operated homeless charities and people donating to food banks.
Apparently it only encourages people to be avoid hard work and laze around on the streets whilst lefty councils give them £3,000 a day to welcome in the small boats full of young men bent on benefits cheating and getting multiple sex changes on the NHS.
Braverman's aides removed her from the stage as she appeared to be frothing at the mouth.
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