Australian officials have been explaining how they managed to find a 8x6mm capsule along a 900km stretch of road.
"It started when Wagga Wagga Capes and Extra Large Underpants Emporium reported a spike in sales to Newman, Western Australia.", said Pouchwoman - formally known as Officer Brenda Martin - speaking from her glittering 150m high crystal kangaroo stronghold.
"When officers neared the area, there were a lot of 'unusual' people on the road in a particular spot; Digeridoo Man, Wallaby Woman, Wombatman, Duck Bill Platypus Man - he's my husband, he's not a superhero; that's just his nickname - was with me and suggested the capsule must be close by; as I got out the car, I was bitten by a glowing kangaroo and the next couple of hours were a bit of a blur and I woke up here with the capsule safely in my pouch. And I dare say, a lot of supervillains will be a bit worried from now on. In unrelated news, Boris Johnson is visiting the Ukraine and asking about "safe houses".
image from pixabay
Insisted the muscle-bound hero: 'I could have balletically traversed roofs and ledges, but I thought "nah, why bother?". It's not very restful leaping between skyrise apartments, being inches from death, when I could just as easily grabbed an Uber.
'Frenetically scrambling over buildings, just makes you look like Santa on steroids. And when you get to your location you still need to sheepishly climb down the drainpipe, like a peeping tom.
'Travelling as the crow flies may be faster but it f$cks with Google Maps and feels silly when you're not being chased by a super villain.'
Photo by Hangah Liong on Unsplash