Insisted the muscle-bound hero: 'I could have balletically traversed roofs and ledges, but I thought "nah, why bother?". It's not very restful leaping between skyrise apartments, being inches from death, when I could just as easily grabbed an Uber.
'Frenetically scrambling over buildings, just makes you look like Santa on steroids. And when you get to your location you still need to sheepishly climb down the drainpipe, like a peeping tom.
'Travelling as the crow flies may be faster but it f$cks with Google Maps and feels silly when you're not being chased by a super villain.'