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El Salvador mega prison slammed on TripAdvisor


A prison designed to hold up to 20,000 prisoners has been the subject of a scathing raft of reviews on popular review sites.


'Only two toilets for every hundred inmates,' moaned one reviewer, who also had issues about the 'measly two-ply' toilet paper. Another suggested the guards were 'a tad rough', but it was unclear if that was an actual complaint.


The prison barber came in for some rough reviews, too. 'He only seems to have one cut - I asked for a little off the top and wham! it was all on the deck,' complained reviewer 001025 who preferred to be nameless, in accordance with El Salvador prison rules.




Luxury flat owner on toilet wins Turner Prize



The owner of a luxury apartment overlooked by Tate Modern has spoken of her shock and delight at winning this year’s Turner prize. Poppy Tamara Bullion, a haute couture fashion designer, was unaware she had been nominated for the accolade, or that going to the toilet fell under the category of performance art.


Ms Bullion announced on social media - ‘Hi guys. So excited to have won the Turner prize. I produce some of my best work when I’m sitting on the toilet. A big shout out to all the art critics who stand on the viewing platform in dirty raincoats, come rain or shine.’


Grayson Perry, one of this year’s judges, praised Ms Bullion’s work.


‘She goes beyond using the toilet as a utilitarian process and opens up the medium to thousands of ordinary working class people. She is saying – look at me, I’m rich and privileged but I go to the toilet like everyone else. It’s political without being ideological.’


The Saatchi Gallery has snapped up Ms Bullion’s toilet and exercise bike for an undisclosed sum. Ms Bullion announced on social media - ‘Hi guys. So excited to have sold my toilet and exercise bike for an undisclosed sum.’



image form pixabay

Man sh*ts himself whenever anyone mentions Wordle




A man who got into the daily habit of playing Wordle on his phone while sitting on the toilet, believes his brain has become conditioned to associate the word game with defecating - because now whenever someone says ‘Wordle’, he sh*ts himself.


Nathan Brown, a Waste Management Consultant from Bognor said, “It’s really embarrassing! I’ve only got to hear someone mention… that game, and I completely lose control of my bowels. I’ve had to start taking a spare pair of pants and trousers everywhere with me, just in case someone says… the name of that game. I did stop playing it on the toilet for a while to see if I could recondition my brain to stop it associating the game with having a dump, but unfortunately it now seems that if I don’t play it on the loo, I become constipated. In the end I had to start playing it on the toilet again, because I became very uncomfortable after being unable to have a crap for over a week. Ironically when I did start playing again, the answer that day was ‘tough’, which also described the sh*t I had after having held it in for so long.”


When asked if he knew what today’s Wordle answer is, Nathan replied, “Yes, it’s ‘messy’. Now please excuse me, I need to go and change my underpants again…”



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