Trump secures deal of Bone Saws to Saudi Arabia worth $300

With fly-bys, gun salutes and massive corruption, the so called US administration welcomed Mohammed bin Salman into the Oval Sales Office.

The full range of bone cutting equipment was laid out on the Resolute Desk on cheap gold plinths. The Saudi officials were particularly interested in the compact, fold away travel version with torch attachment, ideal for working in darkened back rooms of consulates.

His Majesty felt obliged to show interest in the powered reciprocating saws. These had toughened blades that oscillate at 12,000 strokes per minute. More than Trump in beauty pageant changing room.

Trump was very happy to talk in length about the best deal, the most best deal ever on surgical equipment, the likes of which no one had ever seen before, before he started to insult the press.

When one tried to ask about human rights, the prince was heard to mutter “You chop up one journalist...”

BBC to make low-cost docudrama about Trump Panorama

'It's what the BBC does best, making low-cost docudramas about real events,' said a BBC spokesman today.  'With worldwide syndication costs expected to bring in about $5 Billion and production costs estimated at about thirty quid then the Beeb breaks even if it loses, launches another radio station if it wins,' he added.  'Or can afford to keep paying Kuenssberg her salary for another year'.

The docudrama is expected to include real footage from the Trump statement it edited on Panorama intertwined with the broadcast version on Panorama (with subtitles alerting viewers the former was by a certifiable crackpot and the latter was edited by one, too).  Then there will be the dramatised courtroom segment intercut with the lawyers talking out of court, discussing strategy, legal points and which Ferrari the case will buy them (both sides).  A pair of mock juries will be shown the drama, each with a unique twist (one based on truth and the other based on Truth Social), with opposite results expected.

The BBC hope they can convince President Trump himself to appear in a cameo that will lend authenticity to his character while destroying his real-time court case.  Alternatively they hope the BBC lawyers can get him to appear in the real court case just to destroy his real-time court case.  Both options are preferred.

'There's a lot riding on this,' said the BBC spokesman, 'including my bonus.

Panorama are understood to be making a documentary about the docudrama about the Panorama show that spawned the docudrama.  They are also planning a Panorama about the furore expected about them making a documentary about the Panorama show that spawned the docudrama.  There might be a docudrama about that, too.   'Trust me, the BBC isn't going anywhere fast, ' said the spokesman.

Trump releases the Epstein files