Concern as White House orders a world map, a blindfold and darts from Temu

'It's the geopolitical equivalent of pin the tail on the donkey' bemoaned one US general, over the high pitched sound of Donald Trump's giggling. The General sighed and gave the President a lollipop for not soiling himself

The world map - a flat Earth - was of dubious quality, with many countries known by their MAGA names and New Zealand omitted altogether. 

Russia is known as 'Our Good Friend Putin's Russia'. So is Ukraine, Belarus and everything in between Moscow and Berlin. Canada is called North USA. Mexico is South USA, Spain is Old Mexico, Venezuela is Oil USA. Greenland is green, whilst Epstein Island is redacted. Togo is how the President likes his McDonald's order and the UK is called Airstrip One.

A statement from the New Zealand government said 'He doesn't know we exist. Sssssshh.'

Photo by Nikhilesh Boppana on Unsplash