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Billionaire Jeff Bezos has announced to the politicians and campaigners at the COP26 climate change summit that he will take over saving the world from them, once the entirety of the planet's real estate is in his possession.


"On my recent flight into space - I flew into space by the way, did you know? yeah it was great - anyway, I looked down on the earth from above" said the Amazon boss "and I thought: so much of that belongs to someone else. My properties are just about visible from space, but they looked so small and fragile. It was clear that I needed to take action. By which I mean, every year I'm going to spend about 0.5% of my wealth stopping climate change .And use the rest of it to buy the land from under your feet. And seabed mineral rights, don't forget them! There's so much ocean! You really notice that from space, you see."

Despite critics saying that Amazon's business model encourages rampant resource-depleting consumerism, Bezos rejected calls for change at his company, noting that "if we don't mine the earth to pieces to make more Kindles and TVs, where's the money going to come from to save it?"








Twenty-four hours after becoming leader of the Liberal Democrats, Vince Cable has resigned his position saying that he has taken the party to the limit of its potential and it was now time for someone else to take up the reins.

'It has been a roller coaster ride,' said Cable 74; 'there have been great highs and great lows, but I feel that the day after I became leader is the right time to quit as I have nothing more I can offer.'


Cable won the coveted position after a tightly fought race between himself and no other candidates, at a time when the Liberal Party was still reeling from a disastrous general election performance. He promised 'change, renewal and hope', but in the end it was just a question of helping himself to a few packets of post-it notes from the stationery cupboard and then slipping out the back.


‘I wish my successor every good fortune,’ said Cable. ‘I leave this party one day older but otherwise pretty much the same.’ A new leader will be chosen by exhaustive ballot as soon as someone else cracks and agrees to do it



Towering Christmas Inferno

The Man Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down a Christmas Mountain

Eat, Pray, Love, Christmas

I Know What You DId Last Christmas Summer

Christmas It

We Need to Talk About Kevin Behind the Christmas Tree

We Need To Talk About Kevin could be sold as yet another Home Alone sequel

The Christmas Belles Of St Trinians

Saving Private Ryan's Christmas

Charade s

Layer Christmas Cake

The Christmas Party

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Christmas

Ferris Bueller's Christmas Day Off

Schindler's Christmas List

Psycho Christmas

The Texas Chainsaw Christmas Massacre

2001 A Christmas Space Odyssey

To Kill a Christmas Mockingbird

A Christmas Clockwork Orange

Guess Who's Coming for Christmas Dinner

The Wild Christmas Bunch

The Sound of Christmas Music

A Hard Christmas Day's Night

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Landed in the Christmas Tree

Dude, Where's My Christmas Car(d)?


Inspired by SteveB, additional titles by Doctor Chutney, Lockjaw 54 and Despar,








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