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Peter Mandelson, the emperor of smarm, has exposed himself again. 


This time, it's in favour of already tragically wealthy overseas chums, at the expense of the ever grubbily fingered public purse. Tightening the genital screws on poor, put upon, hardworking Brits, a beaming grimace in softly spoken Rees-Moggian tones suggested that American billionaires should 'mildly threaten' the Treasury to tax them less than zero. Especially during periods of global financial crashes.


It's unclear if the promise to 'mildly threaten' would be a precursor to 'charmingly bludgeon'. The whispering menace prompted some discomforting thoughts:


If you don't do what I say, this dressing gown will slip open a little further;


Your lovely daughter's pony Cherubina could be clippy-clopping ungracefully at next week's gymkhana;


While you're not looking, your luxuriant, velvety bourbons might be replaced with inferior digestives;


Nice Horse Guards address... it would be a shame if someone decorated it less tastefully;


And if you do not tippy-toe more carefully, I may arrange a supper date for you with Michael Gove.



Image credit: perchance.org




British electronic band KLF have criticised Liz Truss and Kwasi Kwarteng for torching the UK’s higher tax brackets.


A raging electronic statement from KLF with red hot keynotes lit the place up: 'It certainly looked like Kwasi Kwarteng was all bound for mu-mu land during the Queen’s funeral, but we suppose that balances out Liz Truss having the charisma, oratorical style and cold dead expression of a Dalek. Exterminate! The Tories are more fiscally irresponsible than setting fire to a million pounds. Take it from the justified and ancient ones.’


Economic expert Piotr Polkowski said, ‘It was only a combination of Boris Johnson’s era-defining levels of self-absorption and his inability to stop humping things, that prevented the Tory Government from unleashing such truly unnecessary economic suffering sooner. All aboard the last train to Transcentral. If you can still afford a ticket. Which you can't.’



Hat tip to sirlupus



First published 29 Sep 2022


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