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Forest fires boosted Hampshire economy by £12m


Researchers for the Hampshire Business Improvement Network say that wildfires in the New Forest have boosted the local economy.


'There is a good news story here,' said a spokesman. 'It's not all about ecological damage and frightened ponies. The fires did attract extra visitors and those visitors spent money on food and drink, accommodation and fire extinguishers. We reckon that the total benefit is around £12m. That's impressive, as businesses had little time to source commemorative t-shirts or packs of Original Hand Made Hampshire Forest Fire Fudge.'


'Of course, we're not suggesting that we should repeat the fires any time soon. It's difficult to market wildfires as a tourist attraction without seeming ghoulish. Having said that, £12m is a significant boost to local businesses, and times are hard...



Image credit: perchance.org


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Holidaymakers facing choice between metaphorical frying pan and literal fire


With Mediterranean countries mostly ablaze, boozed up Brits abroad have been making the best of it


'I know the locals have lost their homes and possessions to an all-consuming apocalyptic wall of flame' droned one 'but where is my roast beef with all the trimmings? I’m on holiday in Spain so I want Yorkshire pudding, but all I can see is charcoal and despair. I’m sweating buckets here and I can’t even find a Fab lolly to cool me down.'


Other Brits have opted to vacation in the UK, only to find blazing infernos here too, even in Scotland and Wales – previously considered too damp to ever burn.


Another boozed up Brit abroad shouted ‘Good job that Climate Change turned out to be a hoax eh? We wouldn’t want shareholders' dividends to be falling as fast as the trees in that forest would we?’



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