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Women are reacting to the latest survey that says they are getting angrier, with anger levels at a ten year high. 'If anyone suggests that one more time I'm going to ram the report up their ar$e,' insisted Donna, 34 and seething, today. Gemma agrees, 'just because we shout a little louder, thump strangers for no apparent reason and use the Daily Mail as a reference source for everything that is wrong with the world today doesn't mean we're angry, we're just fuming a little. Well a lot'.


Professor Barry English from Southampton University 'Anger-Management Research Institute' thinks the report has failed to recognise that in fact it is men who have become more mild-mannered, co-operative and helpful. 'Women may appear to be angrier, but in fact men are just a lot nicer, certainly in my house,' he said as Mrs English battered him into a senseless stupor at the sound of his voice. 'If that overpaid, under-worked, lazy, shiftless so-and-so who can't be are$ed to put the toilet seat down just once opens his f@cking gob one more time,' she said, while agreeing with him the report was inaccurate.


'I've always been angry, and anyone who says otherwise is going to get lamped,' she said.





First published 7 Dec 2022


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In a wide ranging and extensive investigation, Newsbiscuit has concluded that, contrary to many emails, MILFs in your area are not looking for you, or indeed, anyone.


After a flurry of mysterious and enticing emails, Newsbiscuit reporters decided to follow up on the promise of consequence-free, morally casual horizontal delights. We put to the test as to whether there was a cache of eager middle-aged women (we discounted DILFs and GILFs for this report) geographically near, seemingly desperate to meet for immediate liaison.


We clicked on the links in the emails and followed the flow of encouragement under our pseudonym, MILF_LOVER69, but after a frustrating afternoon and a maxed out credit card, we found no desirous mothers close to us or even within 100 miles (the slider wouldn’t go any further). After taking our enquiries from door to door, we also discovered, very quickly and aggressively in many cases, that even within 5 doors of Newsbiscuit HQ, there will be still no ready and waiting, frustrated women at any juncture. The police, after they were called by concerned neighbours, also confirmed that this was probably a scam and that we should stop knocking doors and asking. Beware!


Next week: Our trip to meet a Nigerian Prince under a bridge in Waterloo!


image from Grok

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