MILFs in your area are NOT looking for you

In a wide ranging and extensive investigation, Newsbiscuit has concluded that, contrary to many emails, MILFs in your area are not looking for you, or indeed, anyone.

After a flurry of mysterious and enticing emails, Newsbiscuit reporters decided to follow up on the promise of consequence-free, morally casual horizontal delights. We put to the test as to whether there was a cache of eager middle-aged women (we discounted DILFs and GILFs for this report) geographically near, seemingly desperate to meet for immediate liaison.

We clicked on the links in the emails and followed the flow of encouragement under our pseudonym, MILF_LOVER69, but after a frustrating afternoon and a maxed out credit card, we found no desirous mothers close to us or even within 100 miles (the slider wouldn’t go any further). After taking our enquiries from door to door, we also discovered, very quickly and aggressively in many cases, that even within 5 doors of Newsbiscuit HQ, there will be still no ready and waiting, frustrated women at any juncture. The police, after they were called by concerned neighbours, also confirmed that this was probably a scam and that we should stop knocking doors and asking. Beware!

Next week: Our trip to meet a Nigerian Prince under a bridge in Waterloo!

image from Grok