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In what some see as a desperate attempt to double its viewing number, GB News has signed former football star Roy Race of Melchester Rovers to cover the World Cup. The popular footballist, famed for his bicycle kicks, double-nutted power headers and ability to score winning goals when every bone in his body had been broken, is seen as a coup for GB News.

Roy of the Rovers, as he was known at the peak of his footballing career, was overlooked by Sir Alf Ramsey in the 1966 World cup to the lament of his fans, who insist that had he been selected, Germany would have thrown the towel in at half time.

Newsbiscuit looked into the mystery of why Sir Alf declined to include Britain's greatest ever footballer from the team and discovered that Race refused point blank to be part of a team that had foreigners in it; or anyone who looked like they might have a drop of foreign blood in them, or even had a foreign sounding name.

GB News describe him as the salt of the earth type character that Britain lacks these days; and are optimistic that the football hero will not only inspire youngsters to take an interest in football, but encourage them to consider how great Britain once was, back in the days when football trains were being trashed by supporter


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A spokeswoman, just kidding, a spokesman for Qatar clarified the legality of the meteorological phenomenon.


‘We have taken the precaution of being a tiny desert peninsula with very little rain to minimise our chances of seeing rainbows. If it looks like there might be one, we either bribe the clouds or have 10,000 migrant workers flap them away. This moves any potentially awkward symbolism outside Qatar’s borders and towards much gayer countries like Saudi Arabia and Iran.’


‘We reworked the “Dark Side of the Moon” album cover to show the Qatari flag colours instead of a rainbow and we’ve banned the children’s TV show Rainbow. Not because of its title or its credits or even George. No, there’s something not right about Bungle. You know it and I know it.’


photo: https://pixabay.com/users/27707-27707/



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