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Millions of England fans looked on in dismay as a dejected Harry Kane left the pitch at the Al Byat Stadium on Saturday, after missing what many say was a crucial penalty in England's quarter final world cup tie with France.
But as is often the case when one door closes another opens, and it was clearly a much more cock-a-hoop England skipper who got off the plane after arriving at Birmingham this evening.
Speaking to the reporters Kane explained the dramatic change in his demeanour. 'Basically, I was gutted last night, and you know, I was thinking of hanging up my boots and going to hide in a cave. But basically then I got a call from my agent with some great news.
’Turns out I'm going to be heading up a massive advertising campaign for one of the high street pizza chains.
‘So, basically, you know, it's not all bad news. In fact it's all good really. Basically, it's turned out sweet for me. My agent says I'll not have to pay for a pizza ever again. And let's face it, even if we had gotten through, then Morocco would have done us on penalties in the semis, err... basically.’
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All across the world, fans of Meghan and Harry watched in amazement as the plucky underdogs peppered their all-powerful opponents with shot upon shot, finally putting paid to their hopes of survival.
“They were fouling us from start to finish,” said the Duke of Sussex, brandishing a stream of yellow and red cards at the couple’s bruised opponents as they limped away.
“But we stuck to our truth, put in a lot of damaging shots, and came away with a result.”
“The Royal Family can learn a good lesson from this,” said the Duchess.
“They arrogantly thought they were the Brazil of world monarchies - the crème de la crème, and completely invincible. But now look at them – humiliated by the underdogs and progressing no further.
Harry and Meghan now go on to their next round of documentaries in which they'll be taking on the Pope - a tough opponent who many pundits consider to be infallible.
Image: planet_fox | Pixabay
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