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World sees plucky underdogs demolish "unbeatable" opponents


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All across the world, fans of Meghan and Harry watched in amazement as the plucky underdogs peppered their all-powerful opponents with shot upon shot, finally putting paid to their hopes of survival.


“They were fouling us from start to finish,” said the Duke of Sussex, brandishing a stream of yellow and red cards at the couple’s bruised opponents as they limped away.


“But we stuck to our truth, put in a lot of damaging shots, and came away with a result.”


“The Royal Family can learn a good lesson from this,” said the Duchess.


“They arrogantly thought they were the Brazil of world monarchies - the crème de la crème, and completely invincible. But now look at them – humiliated by the underdogs and progressing no further.


Harry and Meghan now go on to their next round of documentaries in which they'll be taking on the Pope - a tough opponent who many pundits consider to be infallible.




England footballers threaten strike action unless demands on pay, conditions and pensions are met


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As if the nurses, postmen, and teachers going on strike wasn’t enough, shock news has emerged from the English training camp in Qatar.


"The lads have had enough", said England trade union representative Tommy Studs. “They’re going on strike. The FA have forced them to kick footballs in temperatures of over twenty degrees, give press conferences at the drop of a hat and listen to Gareth Southgate drone on for a fortnight."


It's only the second time that the England international football team will have gone on strike since it was founded in 1872. The first strike was in 1908 in Saxe-Coburg when Captain Sir Digby Rawlinson was sent off for not offering the opposing captain a glass of port at half-time.


Mr Studds was adamant the players had a strong case. "Things have come a long way since Captain Rawlinsons' gentlemanly heroics back in the day," he argued before adding, "but the football association seems to take the players for granted. They're only offering the boys ten million quid each, the use of a complimentary gold-plated jacuzzi back at the hotel, and insist on making efficiencies by reducing the number of highly trained sports data and strategy analysts to 367.


On top of that, they expect them to play the French. How underhand and diabolical can you get?"






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