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£8m for King's portrait. Prince Andrew's mugshot? Priceless.

Forced to fund pictures of King Charles, the tax payer may be wondering if there were better bargains to be had. Paintings of Princess Margaret's Tindr profile, Fergie's toe job or Prince Harry dressed as a Nazi, from his pre-woke years.

Instead of having Charles' gurning mug adorning every cub scout hall, they could have had Prince Andrew, with the phone number for Childline. Even just a racist slogan to immortalise Prince Phillip's contribution to harmless banter.

Meanwhile portraits of the late Queen will be ceremonially burned, along with the evidence of her tax avoidance. Said one serf: '£8m to reminder the masses that he is superior? I guess its cheaper than paying for a blue tick on Twitter.'

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