In another breakthrough for artificial intelligence, an app has been produced which will automatically post the appropriate things on your social media accounts when a famous person dies.
In the case of pop stars, it will look up a few of their songs so you can make out you were much more of a fan than you really were and a few of their most famous gigs so you can claim you were at one of them and it 'changed your life'. It will also check they weren't a paedo or a racist and come up with euphemisms like 'troubled' when 'obviously a complete mentalist' would be nearer the truth.
However, some people are sceptical about whether AI can really do this as well as a human being, or alternatively Alastair Campbell.
'I mean, could a machine have come up with the phrase 'the people's princess' in the wake of the death of Princess Diana?
'Personally I think AI will probably launch a nuclear strike and end life on Earth long before it descends to that level of unctuous, self-serving venality.'