Sunday evening snooze-fest the Antiques Roadshow will go ahead without any presenters or expert summarisers, much to the faux-delight of people who clearly never watch it anyway. This is because Fiona Bruce is taking an enforced step back, much like she has received a one-off punch in the face from Stanley Johnson, shortly to become Sir Stanley Johnson.
Tara Taylor said ‘My granny left me this hideous figurine of a woman.’
Surrounded by an all-white crowd of pensioners, Taylor continued ‘I wanted the expert to estimate such a high value that this lot would gasp, or at least go ‘oooo’. I’d even practised pretending that I wouldn’t immediately put it on e-bay. The figurine’s nose is a bit broken, much like she has received a one-off punch in the face from Stanley Johnson, shortly to become Sir Stanley Johnson.’