Apple engineers explained: ‘We were told to create an augmented reality, so we made a hybrid between the beer googles of Nigel Farage and the rose-tinted monocle of Jacob Rees Mogg. The image quality is poor, but if you squint you can just about see the sunlit uplands.’ Some have accused the company of creating a dystopian sci-fi fantasy, but others said that was already done with the £350m logo on the side of a bus.
Users will be presented with a virtual UK, dynamic and successful – while their actual bodies will continue to experience malnutrition and regret. At a mere £2500 the new headset is expensive but is £30bn cheaper than the actual Brexit.
Said one satisfied customer: ‘When I had the Vision Pro on everything seemed better. Ironically I hadn’t switched it on, but sitting in darkness seemed preferable to Britain in 2023.’