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BBC series to make Steven Hawking's Brief History of Time even briefer



An educational series that some in the BBC had hoped would restore credibility to BBC output will be shortened in case viewers started to think objectively about time and start to think about how long the Tory party had been able to remain in power, despite doing nothing to warrant it.


In leaked minutes of BBC management meetings, Newsbiscuit read discussions between senior BBC managers about eliminating all mention of time from CBBC programmes and an effort to convince the In Our Time producers to dumb down their output with an episode about how how early antipodean scientists were set back two hundred years while they tried to work out why their sundials were going anti-clockwise.


One hopeful contributor to In Our Time, who was selected by the same team that selected Pop Idol contestants was disappointed to be excluded from the In Our Time team after his assertion that Cole Porter's song “It's All Right By Me” was about the inability to reconcile time in the northern hemisphere with that in the southern one by the use of sundials.


Newsbiscuit researchers are able to report that despite the couple referenced in the song being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and although the faces were the wrong faces, it enabled many millions of acrimonious divorces.


At the time of writing, we understand that a BBC series about celebrities who came good after dumping their partners is proposed to avert criticism about dumping Steven Hawking's observations.




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