A Big Dog kept at 10 Downing Street by Tory donors has shit on the carpet once too often said one of its owners.
Speaking from his home in Monaco, Russian billionaire Sergi Merkatz - who owns several properties across London - criticised the dog for leaving yet another putrid stench festering on the Downing Street carpet.
Mr.Merkatz said the old dog was no longer able to carry out simple commands or come to heel when ordered to by its masters and so the time had come to replace the mutt with a dog that knew how to behave.
‘We were prepared to overlook the indiscriminate humping, the daily arse licking, the constant need for attention….but not understanding basic commands is the last straw. If I throw something on the Cabinet table then I expect the dog to fetch it for me….if I tell him to roll over I expect him to do it without question.
I haven’t donated £1.2m to the Tory party just to watch this incontinent dog shitting everywhere….. they need to clean up his mess and get a dog that realises who its masters are.
It is time to have the old dog put down'.