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Boris decides that one a day is enough

With 100 days left to use paper £50 notes, Boris Johnson has decided the best way to wean himself off burning them in front of homeless people by restricting himself to one a day. "It will be tough", the PM admitted, "but I have to prove to myself that I can do it by the time it's no longer possible."

When asked how much this habit had been costing he added "It hasn't been cheap, and it's why I wanted Carrie to get the £100K job. We've known that paper money was on its way out for a long time and her £100K a year would have allowed us to invite the homeless to Downing Street for a money burning party."

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