Boris 'Would be mad to seek psychological help'
While many Prime Ministers would be reeling after losing two by-elections, a party chair and a packet of cheese strings on the same day, Boris Johnson was reported to be upbeat, if a little disappointed to have lost the cheese strings. 'Boris likes his cheese,' explained an aide.
The suggestion he might need psychological evaluation was poo-poo'd. 'You'd have to be mad to see a shrink,' said one supporter, while another suggested that the Prime Minister had 'put the loop in "fruit loop", or was it the fruit? Whatever.'
'He's definitely put the "sh!t" in "sh!t for brains",' said another supporter, who didn't want to be named (but sits next to Boris in PMQs, holds the purse strings and covets his job).