A Government spokesman has clarified what Home Secretary Suella Braverman (yes, really) means when she talks about the Rwanda policy being “the will of the British people”. She means: “the final wishes of the British people before their extinction. May the Lord have mercy on their souls”.
‘I think she missed that day at law school’, a Home Office spokesman said. ‘It’s an easy mistake to make – English is full of words with double meanings – “truth”, for example. What is it, really? It sounds like it should only be things which are true, but as we’ve learned in recent years, truth is a wet slippery fish of a word. We’ve stopped using it at the Home Office for that reason’.
It remains unclear who witnessed our last will and testament, and indeed whether we were "of sound mind" when we made it. At least we now know what was meant by “sunlit uplands”. Walk towards the light, people. Heaven awaits us.
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