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Britain appoints bottom of barrel as Prime Minister

Having endured the excruciating screeching sound of the bottom of the political barrel being scraped for almost two months, the long-suffering British public were hoping to be able to watch the news without their fingers in their ears.

But, like the owners of a missing cat that has returned and sicked up a still-living rat on the living room carpet, their relief at the end of their long ordeal is mixed with disgust at the fresh horror that they are now confronted with.

Some console themselves that you can't get lower than the bottom of the barrel. But excited journalists have just announced that there will be a full week of new Cabinet appointments; so maybe, in this new Britain, you can.

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