Thirty years before Britain is set to open its first nuclear fusion reactor in the middle of Birmingham’s Bullring shantytown, workers have already staged a walkout.
“My members are fully justified in taking this action,” said union leader Sid Smelts. “It’s not all about pay but our concerns over working conditions,” he added. “How can the government expect my lads to work slap bang in the middle of a big bang? We’re not being unreasonable, but there are whopping health and safety issues. They expect loyal, hardworking employees to fire powerful lasers at buckets of radioactive fusion fuel without as much as a day’s boffin training and only wearing a Hi-Viz vest for protection. It’s a national disgrace.”
The minister for energy and climate admitted that his department had no plans to engage with the union.
“This is the classic modus operandi of union troublemakers. Mr Smelts has forgotten that the UK needs a clean and reliable energy source, and all he wants to do is get his ugly mug on the telly. He needs to understand that we can’t rely on wind or solar power as we don’t have enough wind or solars, whatever they are.
My department has successfully anticipated this anticipatory action. Like everything else, we refuse to negotiate, get around the table, or do anything whatsoever for the next thirty years or so.”