Chancellor to blame H&S Executive for severe budget cuts



A speech due to be made by the Chancellor in preparation for his budget announcement will say that the "Low-Hanging" fruit in departmental budgets has been successively harvested by previous Tory Chancellors and although there is abundant fruit on higher branches, it would require a cherry picker to reach.

He will say that whereas in the past, Eastern Europeans who worked in the exchequer were qualified to drive cherry pickers since it was part of their school curriculum, getting certification to drive one as required by the Health and Safety Executive, has never been part of the English school curriculum, who is more biased towards obtaining qualifications in the King James' Bible.


Some parts of the Tory Party have suggested that offering short-term asylum for Manston immigrants with cherry picker certification and experience of national budgets may help the chancellor reach a fairer budget in these difficult times, the Home Secretary is opposed to this, saying their Rwanda flights had already been paid for and it would be a waste of taxpayers money if they weren't on the planes.


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