Large sections of Charles’ speech to the Bundestag are said to have been cribbed from a version of the musical Cabaret, with Camilla as Liza Minnelli.
Charles will open with a bombastic version of ‘Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome’. He will be dressed in a top hat and tails, but then rip off his trousers like Bucks Fizz to reveal suspenders in royal purple, plus a gold posing pouch with diamond encrusted lettering, "C R".
The end of the speech will see Charles grinding against Camilla and purring ‘Charles Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is in the haus. Berlin – it’s good to be home. Peace out.’ followed by an Obama mic drop.