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Yesterday an ashen-faced Prime Minister said: ‘Although we do not wish to alarm the general public, nevertheless we must take immediate and decisive action now to put contingency plans in place in case this worrying threat spreads.’
‘Measure will include two-week isolation for anyone who hears even so much a strain of Phil Collins singing 'Invisible Touch' and please do not heed these scaremongering stories circulating on social media, that the band is to record a new 5-CD concept album. They are simply untrue. Rest assured; our priority is to ensure Britain remains Prog-Free. ’
