'We're looking to the future,' suggested a Conservative spokesman today, explaining that the next Prime Minister will be different from the last Prime Minister despite both supporting the last Prime Minister through thick and thin - mainly thick to be honest. 'Whoever wins the ballot will be different because until now they haven't had a chance to influence the way the country is run,' added the spokesman, who also admitted he'd previously been a gag writer for Nadine Dorries and really didn't know what that appendage in the middle of his arm was for. 'Pooping?' he asked.