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Dyson reinvents the hammer



Not content charging the gormless well north of £300 pounds for a hairdryer, and almost £500 for hair straighteners, top inventor, James Dyson, has turned his attention to zooshing up the common or garden everyday home toolbox hammer.


The Dyson Hero Hammer, comprising a length of wood with a steel bit at one end hits the shelves for the tidy sum of £630 in June, with many retail analysts predicting brisk business.


One such expert, Jane Norwich told us: 'Basically, this is PT Barnum marketing strategy. We can all buy a hammer in B&Q for ten quid, but we can't buy a grossly overpriced one with the name Dyson on it. The exclusivity value appeals to wealthy and delusional. The type who queue up overnight at The Apple Store nearly every year to be rinsed over and over again.'


But shifty gold chain wearing building contractor and self-confessed brand nut, Barry Shite, from Billericay enthused. 'I need to get me one of them bad boys. It's a Dyson, ain't it, so it's gotta be the dog's nuts. The aerodynamics what's in it and all the other fancy stuff means them nails won't stand a chance. Brilliant.'


Mr Dyson wasn't available for comment but a spokesperson for the passionate Brexit Backing British Boffin  said: 'He's actually currently in our Singapore HQ, counting all his money.'


Image: Lockjaw




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bdbdab
Apr 16

"currently in our Singapore HQ, counting all his money.'" Selling cheap tat not Made in Britain.

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