Updated: Jan 11, 2022
Heartening news has emerged today that the man who has his hand on the tiller of the good ship UK, PM Boris Johnson, has rewarded himself with a nice sunny break on the Costa del Sol.
A source close to the vacillating fool said: 'Well, it's been a tough stretch for the PM. Do you know he's had to don over 70 Hi Vis jackets since mid July? Yes, true. Add to that the 17,000 or more fist bumps and or handshakes he's performed in the same time; well that takes its toll too. And that's before we even consider the many furtive goosings he's helped himself to whenever opportunities were presented.
'He's completely worn out, what with running the nation with a fist of iron, and I don't think we should begrudge him a little break. He's been under the greatest pressure imaginable, indeed more so than any other British leader since Churchill.
'For a man who revels in self-promotion and craves adulation, hiding himself away from the public for lengthy periods has been difficult. Do you think he actually likes to be seen keeping his head down, or being exposed as not being on top of his brief? No, he most certainly does not. But these are difficult times we're living through and sometimes it's a simple matter of needs must.'