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Funding approved for museum museum

Funding has been approved for a new state-of-the-art museum exhibiting extinct museums, with building work scheduled to start immediately. The British Museum of British Museums (BMoBM) has been signed off by the Arts Council with the intention of ‘providing a space where Britain’s entire cultural heritage can be viewed without the need to visit the god-awful regions.’ Finance for the massive central London structure to house the remains of 50-100 soon-to-be defunct museums has been ‘derived’ from the budgets of the museums to be housed. Senior Curator, Sir Phillip Parminter, explained: “To centralise these venerated buildings and their artefacts under one roof, in the capital, where more people will visit than if they were scattered willy-nilly around the country in their original and historic positions, just makes jolly good fiscal sense. “Initially, funding for the project included revenue for the building of a regional BMoBM in the North, exhibiting the remains of less interesting museums whose trinkets and paraphernalia would only gather dust in the main museum gift shop. However, it was much more cost-effective to relocate the Northern BMoBM onto the main BMoBM site, annexed to the main building’s toilet block.” As is customary under current government procedures, tenders for the building contacts have been awarded prior to an official bidding process. Rumours suggesting work has been awarded to contractors unconnected to government ministers or peers of the realm has been strenuously denied.

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