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Furby sighting evidence of climate change

Scientists working for the toy giant Hasbro have warned that Furbys could return to the wild, devastating crops and worrying livestock. Global warming means the Furby can spread throughout Northern Europe, with only Cabbage Patch Dolls as their natural predator. Their brightly covered fur was once valued by elite fashion houses, but the Furby is now seen as an intrusive pest - like James Corden.

The bastard lovechild of a hobbit and a squirrel, the Furby proved a popular pet for cocaine addled children, during the 1980s. However, they were later culled after spreading chlamydia among koala bears and members of the Royal Family.

Not to be mistaken for a Mogwai or Tribble, the Furby is purely carnivorous and has been known to devour the face of its owner, in less than five seconds. Hasbro warned: 'Should you purchase a Furby, do not approach it or cover yourself in BBQ sauce. Notify the army, who will send a trained sniper. Not to kill the Furby, but to shoot you in the head. Anyone who wants one, needs putting down.'

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